Cerebral prostitution

Think about this phrase for a second.

Just a second.

You might hurt yourself otherwise.

This is what we, as TSGs are doing. This cerebral prostitution begins even before joining the company.

>HR representative: [ISP name here] is the BEST MOTHERFUCKING ISP IN THE WORLD. YOU HEAR ME MOTHERFUCKER? WE GOT [long list of "advantages"] AND [social benefits].
>TSG: Okay, I realize your job is to recruit retards like me to your company, but you can't possibly be serious that I will even consider joining after this sort of approach.
>HRR: I'm sorry. It usually works on the typical morons we're recruiting.
>TSG: Why do I have a "I have a bad feeling about this" feeling?
>HRR: Probably because of the cabal contract we're going to bind you with.

In retrospect, it wasn't such a good idea.

Then, the cerebral prostitution continued during the training course:

>Instructor: * usual customer-is-always-right bullshit *
>TSG: That may be true, but I am not a machine you can vent your frustration at. If someone starts yelling at me I WILL hang up on him. Nor am I here to tell people what is a keyboard and what's their asshole. Some of the calls you told us are still considered urban legends by me. Recording or it never happened.
>Instructor: You're a customer service representative. It's your job now.
>TSG: Get me an iron boot so I can kick you in the face. I'm here to tell retards how to click on "Start", not to listen to their incoherent braying about the minuscule amounts they're paying us. The job description never said "You'll have to listen to morons whining about stuff neither of us can control".
Instructor: Good point, but they pay your salary.
>TSG: That's where you get it wrong lad. They're not paying my salary. The company does. They are just an interference in my way to play computer games, surf the web in more ways than I already do and be generally useless while getting paid.
>Instructor: Sucks to be you, then.
>TSG: Where'd you say they make iron boots?

Then it continued into the internship period. And then, our team is spammed by the team leader and I quote.

>Superior: Guys, don't forget to do proactive service. It's part of your meters and your incentives/promotions depend on it.

That struck my enrage nerve.

>TSG: Look, I know you care about us and want us to top whatever retarded quality meters the powers that be made, but ARE YOU BATSHIT CRAZY? We're not salesmen, we're dealing with retards all day long. I, for one, will not deal with retards and money. That and the whole part where I COULD'VE USED THE STUFF WE SELL FOR FREE AND I STILL DON'T.
>TSG: Want to know why? Because I don't need that bullshit. I, unlike the moron on the other side of the phone, know better than to click infected popups. I know that our purpose is to make more money, but I have my dignity. You can forget about me and anything related to sales.
>TSG: Why's that? Because I feel uncomfortable with myself as a human being, to offer malfunctioning services the retard doesn't need. Yes, I have the sufficient personal dignity not to cheat an unsuspecting idiot for his money.
>TSG: BUT. And this is the big hairy but part. Making our fully-deserved incentives (HELL, YOU were a TSG once, you know what's it like), promotions and raises on such retarded bullshit as SALES makes you even more batshit crazy than I could've ever imagined.

Pretty much.

>Superior: You done?
>TSG: Now I am. Did you bother listening to me?
>Superior: Yes. Sucks to be you. Do it anyway.
>TSG: No. Fucking. Way.
>Superior: Well then, it's your money. Or... used to be your money.
>TSG: ... Die in a fire of cancerous aids.

And he actually did it. He cut my paycheck because I didn't sell enough crap.

Did I mention I hate people?